Perfectionism is Self Abuse


Hello my fitness friends. I hope you are enjoying today! I wanted to chat with you about something that will hopefully help you along this wellness journey. Let’s talk about perfectionism. Perfectionism is self abuse. Since I am running a Biggest Loser Competition and have friends with high fitness goals, I see how perfectionism can lead people down a dark path and sometimes unhealthy one.

Perfectionism says, “If I don’t meet this standard (certain beauty, weight, or achievement), then I am not valuable or have less value.” There are people killing themselves to meet a goal that may or not be attainable.

The goal of wellness is health, not perfectionism. Your body may not get to the point where it looks like someone else’s body. Your goals may not be achievable. I will give you an example. The people in my family are muscular by nature, we literally have to starve ourselves to be rail thin and then we look sick. For me to say, “I want to be a size zero,” is ludicrous. Anything below a size 5/6 and people start to offer me food.

Men and women alike can spend way too much time in the mirror picking apart the parts of their bodies that they don’t like instead of celebrating what they do like. People spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery or medical treatments to attain this ideal of perfection…I ask you, who set the standard of what’s perfect? What we think is beautiful is culture driven. Here’s a great example, I have visited South America several times and have noticed that the women are curvier and it’s appreciated. Even the mannequins have curves in certain areas, to be stick thin is not considered beautiful. When I was young, being rail thin was the ideal for a woman. So, depending on where you are in the world or which culture you’re immersed in, the standard of beauty or perfection may be different. I heard a quote that I loved, “You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there will still be someone who doesn’t like peaches.

We think only women struggle with perfectionism as it pertains to beauty, but there are men who spend hours in the gym trying to obtain the perfect body.

Perfectionism can translate to every area of life (work, relationships, cleaning…). Perfectionism is time consuming and stressful.

So what are we to do if we suffer from perfectionism.

1. Strive for being the best we can be, not perfect. Excellence not perfectionism.

2. Set obtainable goals! The goal is health not perfect.

3. Self-acceptance-if we don’t love ourselves, then life is unbearable. Celebrate who you are, flaws and all!

4. Stop comparing. Ditch comparison to all the air brushed photos of models or fitness pros. It’s great for inspiration, but your journey is your journey.

5. Give yourself a break. Rest is important, pushing beyond limits leads to stress on the body, mind, and soul.

6. Be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect, no one is. To be human is to be beautifully flawed.

7. Don’t expect perfection from others.

Well, dear friends, I hope this tips help you on your journey. You are wonderful just the way you are. You are valuable just the way you are. Don’t allow the media, culture, internal or external pressure drive you to madness! Cheering for you. Celebrating you!

3 Comments Add yours

  1. I used to be a huge perfectionist. If I failed at something new, I would just give it up all together. I learned that I need to just keep trying and pushing. I may not get the results I want on the first try, but if I put in all the right effort and work, I can slowly get there. Great post and tips 🙂

    1. Erin Lamb says:

      Thanks for stopping by. I too used to be a huge perfectionist. Now I accept that being human means being beautifully flawed. I strive for excellence, not perfect.

      1. That’s the way it should be. Excellence and enjoying what you are doing is better than trying to live up to unreal expectations and misery.

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