I started this wellness blog because my life was just in utter chaos. I had so much stress. Just like the picture quote above…I woke up one morning and said, “I don’t want to live like this anymore. I need to change.” And I did.
One of the first things I did was assess my relationships. Many of them were uber toxic. There was constant drama. I tried to reason with some, and others I said, “It’s been real but I no longer have the heart, ability, or capacity to deal with this constant nonsense.” A bold but healthy move.
I then spent about a year healing from the toxicity. Soul healing, recovering, seeking for what was next.
I realized I had spent a good portion of my life helping other people, cheering for other people, supporting other people, loving people. Yet when I looked around, my support was minimal. I am all for giving without expectation of return. If you’re always giving and there’s not balance it leads to feeling like a slave or very unloved.
So here are some things I’ve learned along the way! You ready? Hope so.
1. Say no to things you don’t have the ability to support emotionally, physically, and financially. All three.
Sometimes I get invited places and I really can’t expend any more emotionally. As an introvert, massive togetherness is draining.
I limit what I say yes to!
2. Say no to things that don’t align with the vision or mission.
I’m a very driven person. I have goals and a mission statement for my life. Does the request fit? Every opportunity is not my opportunity.
3. Assess the relationships in your life.
Who are you spending time with and why? If everyone in your circle is the same, how will you grow? Diversity is important and being surrounded by people who want to mutually invest. Iron sharpening iron. If you’re helping everyone in your circle, that’s charity or ministry. Connect with others further along than you, doing what you’d like to do, and who will challenge you to become better.
4. What are eating?
Food is supposed to be fuel. If you eat garbage, it doesn’t run as efficiently.
I started making changes in the food choices I made.
5. What are you watching?
I gave up cable two years ago. I miss some things, many I don’t. I am not bombarded with commercials telling me I need to buy things I don’t need or look some way I will never achieve without plastic surgery. I’m not stating cable is bad. I’m stating what you feast on gets deposited in your soul; images, sounds, and ideas.
6. What are your goals?
This life on earth isn’t forever. What are your goals? I encourage people not to wait until they are 65 to make a bucket list. Why are you alive? What will your legacy be?
Each person has a divine purpose for being alive. You matter! Your life matters.
Write out those dreams and be specific.
Here’s one of mine. By 2017 I want to have my demo CD complete and on iTunes. It’s reasonable, specific, and there’s a time attached to it.
What are your goals? What changes in your life need to take place to achieve those goals? What’s stopping you?
These changes brought such peace to my life. I have more joy now than I ever have had. I have peace and joy. My confidence is greater. I have several groups of people that are more supportive that opened up to me from stepping away from what I had. I have zero relational drama. I have the free time to write music, books, read, and grow. I’m excited more than I was about my future. I have the ability to say yes to what is great instead of wasting time on what’s simply good. I’m free of chronic sadness! I have hope. I’m more creative. There are so many great things that came from 1 choice.
My life had to change. I was willing to do what was necessary to make that change happen!
Cheering for your destiny! You can do this!!!