Often I run across women in the grocery store, clothing store, and they are putting themselves down. I mean they are really digging in for the kill, “I am so fat. I am so ugly. I hate my body. Do you see this one wrinkle on my face. Oh man I am a troll. I wish I were skinnier. I wish I had her body. I wish I could be just like…(fill in some unrealistic expectation).”

There is such a push in our society to be an airbrushed version of ourselves. I wonder often where the obsession with skinny and enhanced body parts came from. It’s okay if you are naturally thin. It’s also okay if you are not.

No one at our funerals will say, “They sure could have lost those last ten pounds.” It’s ludicrous to keep allowing the scale or a preconceived idea of beauty to stop you from enjoying life.

Love the body you are in and celebrate it. Say it with me, “I love my body.”

I was talking to a young lady who has always hated being a girl. Then she developed breast cancer. I told her, “You know hating yourself impacts your soul and your soul health impacts your natural (body) health.”

The body, soul, and spirit are connected. Sickness in one area impacts the others.

I knew of another lady who hated being female and she developed ovarian cancer. She hated being a girl. She died last year. She cursed her feminity with her words and cursed the gender given her at birth. Her self hatred manifested in her body.

Is all cancer the result of self hatred, no. Can our lack of love for who we are impact our bodies, absolutely.

There can also be copious amounts of time wasted on trying to be thin, skinny, get the last 10 pounds off that the joy of life is removed. I read an article a few weeks ago of a mom who died because she overdid it with protein consumption. Her pursuit of the “Perfect” body led her to the grave. What good is her “Perfect” body 6 feet under? Underground her body is rotting and decaying. Nothing but bones will lay in that grave. Her children will grow up without her. What good is skinny if you are dead?

Life is a gift! It may not always feel that way with the challenges, pressure, and pains of life. Yet life is a gift. Some people did not wake up this morning, or they have lost everything, or they are hanging on for dear life. What are we doing to enjoy life, really enjoy it! How are we focusing on being healthy…

Let’s talk about healthy life focus…

Healthy is more than meal plans and exercise. Healthy is taking care of ourselves, emotionally, and having our priorities straight.

What S.M.A.R.T (A SMART goal should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound) goals are you setting for yourself? What are you doing to get closer to your personal goals?

This year I stated I wanted to focus on some of my own goals. I have. I have lost 25 pounds. I traveled to the Grand Canyon (bucket list item). I finished the manuscript for my second book. I stopped investing in one sided relationships. I limit time with toxic people. I am working on my third book and hope to get in the recording studio in the next 12 months. I spoke at a regional women’s conference for the first time ever. I quit some volunteer jobs that were killing me.

I realized in most situations I am the responsible person. If someone needs help and it’s legitimate, I will try to help. I tend to put others first. Yet life requires balance. If you are putting others first and they are putting themselves first, guess what, you will be left depleted. They will leave you cleaning up messes, handling situations, and they will ride off into the sunset on holiday. They will have no problem telling you no, quitting, dropping the ball, yet you will be left a wreck with only yourself to blame. Boundaries baby boundaries.

Relationships were meant to be mutual blessings, not one sided blessings. Who constantly has their hand out and deposits nothing? That is not your friend.

We need to focus as much on our own goals as we do on the goals of others.

If you are that person always putting yourself first, this does not apply to you. If you are a giver and try to invest in others, this applies to you. Are you sacrificing your own health (mental, emotional, and spiritual) for others and ending up burned out? If so, reeval your priorities. Reassess your boundaries. You are not responsible for other people, unless it’s a small child, your child. Adults are to take care of their own lives.

“Selfishness is placing your wants above others needs. Self care is placing your needs above another’s wants.”

Who are you investing your time in for relationships? Why? Do those people even try to match your effort? Relationships are not about what we can gain. There is a problem if everyone connected to us has their hand out.

What things have you wanted to do that you put off doing? Can you pick those up again?

What is toxic in your life? What are you doing about it? Ask yourself is what you are doing today getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow? Then move in the direction of the best yes.

My hope is you pursue health. Pursue healthy in every facet of life.

To your health…

Erin L Lamb